From my very early days of growing up, my mom strongly believed that I would not be able to find a man who would be good enough for me. No matter who I brought to meet her, she was disapproving of their every move – she would find flaws in their behavior, their jobs, or even the way they ate, etc. So I thought I would have to remain single until a man came along and changed her mind… a man who took her out instead of me.
The Standards That Can’t Be Met
Since I was young and throughout my teenage years, my mother used to remind me that I would be a loser when it comes to dating, not because of me, but because of her unattainable expectations.
“He didn’t open doors? Rude.” “He didn’t look me in the eye when he shook my hand? Suspicious.”Is he a marketer? Unstable.”
Despite what I thought, he was amazing, and she always found something negative to say about him. After years of break-ups and family meals full of angst, I began to have second thoughts. I wasn’t sure anymore if I would ever find a man who would pass her strict criteria.
In Walked Jake
I was introduced to Jake at a friend’s house party. He was a winner, the personification of success, and, above all, he looked like he was genuinely into me. After a few dating weeks, the ultimate moment had arrived: I was going to make him meet my mom.
I had a pep talk session with him. “She is the type of person who might be grilling you,” said I. “Be composed and just be truthful.”
It was not as bad as I expected. Not at all.
Instead of being skeptical, my mom was all smiles, she asked intellectual questions, and even went as far as to compliment him on the choice of wine. I could not believe it – was she really getting a soft spot for him?
The Unexpected Turn Of Events
After a few days, my phone beeped with a text message from Jake.
“Hello, I hope this isn’t a bizarre request, but I enjoyed my conversation with your mother. Could I possibly take her out to dinner? Only as friends, of course.”
I was astounded, and then I read his words again and again to make sure it wasn’t a ridiculous joke, but he was all serious about it.
Initially, I was divided between being scared and intrigued. But after thinking about it for a while, I concluded I should go for it. Maybe this was her approval signal all along—she didn’t want me to be only a good man, but she also wanted one who respected her, too.
The Unexpected Outcome
Jake and my mom went to dinner—and had a great time. They talked about books, travel, and even shared some embarrassing stories about me (thanks, guys).
When she came home, my mom sighed and said, “You know, I like him. He’s different.”
And just like that, her years of disapproval melted away.
Jake and I continued dating, and my mom never again questioned his worthiness. She became one of his biggest supporters.
The Reflection
As I look back, I have come to understand one important thing: my mom was not just dealing with me. She wanted me to see that any man in my life had to treat both of us with kindness and respect. Through that demonstration of affection for her, Jake had her unconditional positive response.
At times, giving a hard time to a parent who is very protective of his/her child is not just proving yourself to the son properly; it’s also demonstrating to you that you are close to a relative. The benefit in this situation was so simple—a dinner date.
