Infidelity may be life’s most contradictory betrayal, one that uncovers all trust and leaves deep marks. The emotional weight of this act is heavy—be it the person deceived or the person straying—but strangely enough, it becomes a source of dark humor. There is something humorous in this juxtaposition of absurdity in the lies and creativity on the parts of cheaters.
Now tell me about this husband—a man who thought himself clever enough to fabricate an alibi. Well, until one minor detail found out the truth.
A Goofy Golfer’s Insinuation
Mark had been having an affair for months with his secretary. One day, they succumbed to temptation and went over to her place to, well, let us say they earned quite a nap after some vigorous activities.
Mark woke up at 8 p.m. and panicked. How do I get out of this one? Then it hit him: He ordered his mistress to drag his shoes through the backyard. “Grass stains don’t lie,” he said jokingly while she rolled her eyes and complied.
He rushed home, steeling himself for the worst. His wife was standing there with her arms crossed. “Where the hell have you been?”
Mark sighed and went for broke. “Sweetheart, I can’t lie to you. I was with my secretary. We… well, you know. I fell asleep and just woke up.”
His wife just stared at him for a moment before looking down at his grass-stained shoes. A smirk formed on her lips.
“Nice try,” she said. “But your ‘mistress’ must have a very familiar backyard—because those are divot marks on your soles. You’ve been playing golf.”
Mark went pale. In retrospect, he realized that in his haste, he had forgotten: His secretary’s lawn wasn’t fresh with new sod like the 9th hole.
Game. Set. Match.
Lesson Learned: If you’re going to lie about something, at least get your sport right.
