There is nothing more crucial for parents than to teach their children not just to defend themselves, but also to respect the others. But what exactly happens when a school fails in the basic fairness department? That is what I was confronted with after my daughter’s lunchbox was taken and, surprisingly, the teacher defended the thief.
The Incident
My daughter, Emily, is a shy but brave first-grader. She was very upset one day after another girl in her class had chosen her lunchbox—a special one she had selected for herself. When Emily asked for it back, the girl refused, explaining: “I love it now and it’s mine.“
In addition to that, when Emily reported it to her teacher, the teacher not only did not take any action but also said to her, ‘Just let her borrow it for today.’ But this wasn’t borrowing; it was stealing. The girl in question was not planning to bring it back.
The Teacher’s Unexpected Rationale
First thing I planned to do was to contact the teacher, feeling like she would resolve the thing. To my shock, instead of that, she sided with the other kid and said, “The child’s home situation is not easy at the moment, and sometimes she behaves badly. We don’t want to make matters worse for her.
To be sure, understanding children who suffer from painful living conditions is an act of a good heart, but that should not be the reason for education or for an educator’s sake to be etiquette-free. By not dealing with this matter, she sends an incorrect message not only to the kid who stole but also to the victim: that the first one’s misconduct will be rewarded and the latter will be silent.
The Consequence
I took the case to the school principal, who arranged a meeting. Fortunately, the lunchbox came back, but everything was ruined. My daughter realized that there are adults who do not care for her, and the other girl found out that she could steal things and not be punished.
Why This Is Important
There is a need for schools to adopt the principles of equality and responsibility. Protecting one child while at the same time mistreating another would bring in resentment and a sense of entitlement. If a child is in difficulty, this is met with support, not a license for bad behavior.
What Will You Do?
Is this a situation that you have encountered, for example? How will you go about solving it say, if your child’s belongings had been taken and the teacher took the thief’s side?
