Feeling cherished, prioritized, and truly loved in a healthy relationship is given. There are times, however, when you may feel that you are not the priority of your partner—that you are just the backup option and not the first choice. If you feel like an afterthought most of the time, be sure to consider the signs, as investing anything further into a one-sided relationship may hurt a lot more.
Here are 8 signs you might be his second choice:
1. He’s Only Available When It’s Convenient for Him
If he only seems to reach out when he is bored, alone, or with nothing else to do, chances are that you are not at the top of his priority list. Someone who cares about you makes the time to be with you, even when things in life become really busy.
2. You Feel Like an Option, Not a Priority
You notice he keeps you at arm’s length: engaging just enough to keep you interested but never committing. If he avoids conversations about defining the relationship or making plans with you, consider that a red flag.
3. He Never Makes You Feel Secure
Acting sure of himself one moment, he treats you coldly the next. This type of inconsistency may mean that he is hanging onto you as backup while he is pursuing other options.
4. He Pretty Much Never Introduces You to Any of His Important People
Someone who truly intends to have a future with you will not just keep you at the periphery, but will actively want to incorporate you into their life.
5. He Rarely Initiates Contact or Plans
You’re always the one to text him first, make plans, or keep the conversation going. That shows that he is not putting in enough effort to keep this connection on his end.
6. He’s Still Emotionally Attached to Someone Else
If there is any comparison going on from his side to an ex or someone new, even if he talks about his past a whole lot and is distracted, it is safe to say that you are not his priority.
7. He is extra sensitive about building a Deep Emotional Connection
He keeps things light and avoids being vulnerable. Whatever it is he says, it is a symptom: If he refuses to open up to you and talk about his feelings, he may not see you as a partner with whom he wants to build anything long-term.
8. Your Gut Tells You Something’s Off
Intuition holds great power. If you suspect something isn’t right and you feel underappreciated, insecure, or if you feel you compete for his attention, believe it. You deserve someone who chooses you above anyone else.
Final Thoughts
If you recognize any of these signs from the previous description, it might well merit some relationship re-evaluation. You should never have to fight for love intuitively. The right partner should cherish you and not treat you like a second choice.
